Sunday, November 25, 2012

I ate Viktor's dinner. Literally.

Dear Zuri,

Remember Viktor from our night on the town last week? The cute red-haired guy with the Russian accent? Well, he insisted on making dinner for me. How could I resist? You know I’m a sucker for a home-cooked meal, since I have no patience in the kitchen.

He came over last Friday with bags of groceries in hand, wearing a heavy wool cable knit sweater looking just as charming as the other night. I love a man in a turtleneck sweater! I enjoy going out far more than staying in – but I could already tell this evening was going to be different. . . and it was!

He brought all the ingredients for Pasta al Salmone Affumicato – which struck me as strange that he was cooking a classically Italian dish. But it turns out his mother is Italian. Hmmm, I have a feeling that there’s more going on with this red-haired Russian than meets the eye. . .

Pasta al Salmone Affumicato. . . smoking hot (and so was Viktor!)

As the smoked salmon sauce simmered on the stove, he dug right into my spice cabinet and pull out just the right spices. He transformed food into art, and I could tell by the way he talked he could work this same magic no matter what he touched.

When we sat down to eat, I was eager to dig in. But picture this: Viktor gently dipped his fork into his food, and then slowly lifted the first morsel into my mouth. Oh, it was all so tantalizing. . . and so was that first bite! I was so full after dinner, I simply had a sweet mango vape.

Oh, well, you get the picture. I think I might keep Viktor around for a while. I might just need him to fix that squeak in my Volvo. . .

So what have you been up to? I can’t wait to hear what you have cooked up for us to do in Paris. . .


Sunday, November 18, 2012

I made the switch to vaping!

Dear Allie,

Big news! I’ve discovered a new vice! Well, it’s not really a vice. In fact, it’s way better than smoking… it’s called vaping. And of course, like everything that happens in my life, there’s a story around it.

Now we may not get hurricanes like you do in NYC (have you recovered from Superstorm Sandy yet?), but it’s getting really chilly here in Minnie. I put on my new Bellissimo shearling jacket and headed outside.

When I got back to the table, my new client Zuri reached into her Valentino clutch, pulled out an elegant black electronic cigarette and started “vaping.” Right there, in the restaurant! She saw my eyes light up. “You vant to try vaping?” she says in her adorable Swiss-German accent.

Vaping with a martini on the first night I tried an e-cigarette
She pulled out another e-cigarette. “Dahling, this vill change your life. No more you vill smell like smoky ash tray. Vaping is smart vay to relax.”

Allie, it’s so cool! It’s a rechargeable battery with a “cartomizer” that comes in different flavors. I vaped caramel – it was so luscious, I gladly passed on dessert. Thank goodness, because I need the calories about as much as I need another pair of Manolo Blahniks!

After dinner, Zuri and I “vaped it up” at the Dakota Jazz Club. Soul singer Bettye LaVette crooned away while we took long drags from our e-cigarettes. I don't usually give my vitals, but last night, I just couldn't resist. . . the music was hot and so were the men. The guys were fascinated we could “vape” right there in the bar. There was this one really delicious guy… well, you know. I don't just attract men, I devour them!

Next month, Zuri invited me to Paris. I’m so excited to go vaping in the city of lights! You’d love my new friend, she’s so elegant! Hey! How about joining us in Paris?

You always said I was a vamp. Now I’m a Vaping Vamp! Gotta run! My phone’s ringing. . .