Sunday, April 14, 2013

Fear of the Unknown. . .

Dear Zuri,

I know I’m not alone in fearing the unknown. I may have an overabundance of confidence when it comes to men, but it’s a total different thing when it comes to my health.

I can only be on top of my vamp game if I'm in tip-top shape!

When I was vaping with Tobias last night (more on that later), someone came up to me and said, “Oh, that's one of those e-cigarettes, right? I heard they have toxic levels of metal nanoparticles in them.”

That was the first I’d heard of that! I mean, we’ve all heard the rumor that e-cigarettes contain a deadly antifreeze chemical in them. That rumor came after the FDA found a trace (1%) element of diethylene glycol (DG) in one brand of e-cigarettes four years ago. DG is certainly not in the best brands of e-cigarettes that I vape!

But this rumor was a new one! So I did a little investigation, and found a research article that read a little like a science-fiction movie. These researchers dissected used cartomizers, took out the elements and put them in a centrifuge. Then, they spun them around at 14,000 cycles per minute to see what would happen.

Researchers put cartomizer elements into a centrifuge and spun them at 14,000 cycles per minute.
Whew! That's one ride I think I'll pass up.
Now that’s a ride I think I'll skip! It was a little like “Will it blend?” performed on e-cigarettes.

After spinning the crap out of these cartomizers, they concluded that they could see trace elements of metals after looking at them under an electron microscope.

Turns out the research they did has “no clinical significance,” because even when you forgive the bizarre methods they used to examine e-cigarette safety, these small particles are not present in vapor. Also, because only the teensiest particles can actually get absorbed into your lungs, this “dust” is also not an issue.

And then I also found out that there are 880 times less particles in e-cigarettes than in real cigarettes. I already knew there was only four main ingredients, compared to 4,000 chemicals and 57 known carcinogens in traditional cigarettes.

Anyway, I knew that you would never turn me onto something that could harm me, Zuri!

Well, back to Tobias. Anyway, he was in town on another diplomatic mission, so I had to take him to our classic steakhouse, Murrays, the home of the butterknife steak. Eat steak too often, and I probably should worry. But a delicious chateaubriand for two carved tableside once in a great while. . .  now that's something I can live with!

Muray's Steakhouse, a Minneapolis classic
He has totally twisted my arm into coming to visit him during the Carnival of Cultures this year. Can you join us in Berlin in mid-May? That would be so awesome!



Sunday, April 7, 2013

A Game of Cat and Mouse, and a New Latin Lover

Dear Diary,

It’s been years since I’ve written. But the truth is, I can no longer confess what’s really going on to my friends Allie and Zuri. It’s just too – vampy! OMG, what if someone got a hold of this and it ended up on FB?!

Dear Diary,  I'm confessing to you, because this it just too HOT to put in an e-mail!

I’m loving the single life so much that I fear that I must have a little more testosterone than most women. This must be what men who are playboys or players feel like. It’s a lot like a cat and mouse game. I know I can have whatever I want, whenever I want it and with whomever I want to have it.

I think it’s amazing that most men think they’re the cat and most women think they’re the mouse. How sad, when the opposite is actually true: women need to wake up and realize that they are actually the cat. They need to take control of their vamp power!

I got all dolled up in sexy red high heels for a night of salsa dancing and ...?
So last night, I got all dolled up in a flaming red dress and sexy red high heels, looking oh-so-vampy (but not trampy) and feeling like a vixen-kitty who licks its lips as it selects the plumpest, juiciest mouse. And then I headed out to the salsa club where I knew that there would be a lot of juicy Latin men, ripe for the picking…

I had always wanted to know if Latin lovers lived up to their reputation. And while I’ve had men from all over the world, somehow I’ve missed out on this particular breed.

I first sat at the bar and surveyed the pickings as I sipped a caipirinha and vaped my new favorite e-cigarette starter kit flavor: Mango Lola. And then I spotted him -- a tall, dark Latino man with a white hat and black mustache. I confidently went over and introduced myself: "Buenos noches. I'm Vita."

He smiled, took my hand and confidently spun and twirled me around on the dance floor. As our bodies moved in perfect rhythm to the music, I knew I had found the man who was worthy to be my Latin lover.

My salsa dance partner moved in perfect rhythm to the music and to my body.
Later, as we stood outside on the cobblestone walk along the Mississippi, he nibbled my neck and ears and whispered, “Te quiero” ("I want you"). I knew I felt the exact same way...