Sunday, August 18, 2013

Blurred Lines and the Dance Between Men and Women

Note from Vita: Listen to “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke when reading this blog.

Yesterday morning, I was in a Zumba class, dancing my butt off to Robin Thicke’s hot new hit, "Blurred Lines."

The way you grab me
Must wanna get nasty
I know you want it
But you’re a good girl...

I realized that in a world where very little is black and white, right or wrong, there are lots of blurred lines.

Especially in the dance between men and women.

"You're far from plastic. Talk about getting blasted.
I hate those blurred lines."
For women, there are blurred lines when it comes to deciding when to first sleep with a man. After three dates? One month? Three months? Not until he proposes? After we’re married?

Of course, the man wants sleep with you right away, on the first date. He knows you want to get nasty, too. But society and the pressure to be a “good girl” has taught us not to give it up on the first date.

It’s our one negotiating chip, our ace in the hole. We can wield our power with men, because they are simple dogs in the hunt, while we are the wily foxes. (Remember: we can't be a wily fox if we're smoking and drinking too much, because we risk losing control.) 

For many women, there’s another blurred line: trying to choose between good guys who want to domesticate them, and bad boys who will “smack your ass and pull your hair.” 

"But you're an animal. It's in your nature."
A good guy may be simple, square and boring while a bad boy is exciting, mysterious, intoxicating. But he’s dangerous. Very dangerous.

Then there’s the kind you really have to watch out for: the wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

They’re the ones who talk the good guy talk (“Oh, honey, let me plant your flowerbeds”); meanwhile, they’re planting flowers in other women’s gardens.

The blurred lines are there for men, too. 

Men realize that women will hold out for the “BBD” (bigger, better deal), and so they put their best foot forward, hoping you’ll do what rhymes with hug me as soon as possible.

If you can wait at least a month, his true colors will show through soon enough. Only the most devious of men, those who are pathological cheats and liars, can keep up the ruse for a month.

The cracks will show through soon enough: he has to work late. Again. He doesn’t call you back. You find out he really IS living in his sister’s basement. He shows up in his “real” car, an old beater van, because he had to return his friend’s Porsche.

The beauty of being a vamp is that there are a few less blurred lines.

"You don't need no papers. That man is not your maker."
It’s true, I’m an animal; it’s in my very nature. Don’t try to domesticate me.

I set my rules and I stick to them. I maintain the upper hand at all times.

I don’t play games.

I simply get whomever I want, whenever I want it.

There. The line has been drawn.

I dare you to cross it.

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