Sunday, September 1, 2013

Guess Who Caught the Wedding Bouquet?

Dear Zuri,

Perrin and I enjoyed the rest of our late summer cruise up the St. Lawrence River and around the northwest most part of Canada, stopping at Quebec City, Prince Edward Island (PEI), Nova Scotia and Bar Harbor, Maine.

True to my vampy nature, I bid “au revoir” to Perrin in Boston, kissed him on both cheeks and a delicious kiss on the lips that will have to be my last for a little while (with him, that is), and then hopped on a plane to NYC, where I met Viktor’s plane from Minneapolis.

A few weeks ago, Viktor nursed me back to health after contracting the worst case of strep throat I can remember. So I thought he deserved a special treat, and decided that he would be the one I would invite to be my escort at Allie’s wedding.

My hair at Allie's wedding
Plus, he has been so patient with my world travels and my vampy nature, which he knows he will never change. 

I’ve made no bones about the fact that I have no desire to be molded to anything other than a slightly more perfect vamp, someone along the lines of a Hedy (Lamarr), a Greta (Garbo) or a Bette (Davis).

That reminds me of a highlight of the Friday rehearsal dinner festivities. I had sent Allie Vampsticks (e-cigarettes with no nicotine) for all of her bridesmaids, and she put them into the cutest gift baskets, along with little bottles of lavender Hypnotiq vodka and other goodies.

Zuri, you would’ve fit right in as all of us sat together, all decked out in our vampiest eveningwear, vaping our sleek black cigarettes (with no nicotine) that night after dinner. 

Too bad all the guys who wanted to smoke old-school cigs missed out, because they had to go outside where it was chilly and rainy. 

Allie's hair looked absolutely gorgeous
Allie’s man was a BIT (boyfriend in training) for several years before they decided to get married and now that he’s her husband, I’m optimistic their marriage will last. 

Of course, you just never know. Life is always full of surprises – some good, some bad and some that just leave you reeling, because you never would have predicted them in a million years.

Well, here’s one surprise that I never would have predicted: guess who caught Allie’s wedding bouquet?

Of course, as Allie’s vampy maid of honor, I was forced to get in the group of single young women who stood excitedly and expectantly while Allie threw her wedding bouquet behind her. Naturally, I stood as far back as possible while Viktor looked on bemusedly, no doubt cueing in to what was going on in my vampish mind.  

Guess who caught Allie's wedding bouquet?
No one was more surprised than I was, her vampy maid of honor!
No one was more surprised than I was when she gave that bouquet a huge heave-ho, and it landed right in my arms!

I never heard Viktor create such a ruckus. He was absolutely doubled over, he was laughing so loud. Allie came over with a look of shock on her face and apologized to me and her bridesmaids. But I mean, what did she have to apologize for? I should be the one who apologizes for being such a wedding vamp!

Well, I will just have to prove that one wedding prediction absolutely wrong. In fact, I will make it my mission to simply step up the level of vampiness!

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