Monday, July 29, 2013

Do Vamps Fall in Love?

(Note from Vita: Listen to "Love Reign O'er Me" by The Who when you read this blog.)

As the vampiest woman in the world, I often get asked: Do I ever fall in love?

I’ll tell you later on, but first, let me tell a little story. It all started when I was 17, just days before commencing my senior year in high school at an exclusive boarding school for girls in a little town in upstate New York.

I went to a street festival with my good friend (who has since become a psychic in San Francisco). It was one of those gorgeous late summer days: warm and sunny, but turning a little chilly at night. We watched the sunset from the memorial stone steps leading from downtown up to a well-known university that was also in town.

Along came two young men, both fresh-faced freshman at the university. To make a long story short, we hung out all evening together, eventually going to hear some music.

Mik (short for Mikhail) and I quickly paired up and we held hands, danced the night away and kissed at the end of a magical evening.

I fell in love for the first time that night. And I’ve fallen in love several times since then.

In fact, I’ve fallen in love with falling in love. When the magic is there, the moon is full, the music moves me and the chemistry is right, I fall in love.

Since then, I’ve learned to recognize the difference between falling in love with a man and falling in love with love. Sometimes the chemistry takes over but it's always wise to do your due diligence. Vetting a man takes time, because you need to look for the patterns in his behavior.

Of course, the men in my life are all forewarned. At least I'm honest and I let them know that they're messin’ with the vampiest woman in the world, a woman who knows how to play men even better than the most skilled seducer, the most dashing Don Juan, the most romantic Romeo.

Most men and women are caught in a cat and mouse game: negotiating the thorny issues of lust and love.

The huge advantage we women, and especially us vamps, have in the game of love is the fact that we hold the key. We can say yea or nay. We can tease and taunt all we want and ultimately, we get to select which man is worthy of our glorious bodies and our precious time.

I'm in love with falling in love.
But very few men have gained the key to my precious purple heart.
Only the most deserving of men can get in closer. He must be a true gentleman, someone who treats me with the respect I deserve and demand. That’s the subject of a whole other confession: how a gentleman should treat a lady, or as I like to put it: how Romeo should treat his vamp.

Anyway, back to the subject of love. While I may fall in love easily, that doesn’t mean that any old Romeo gets the real thing: my heart. Love takes time. Love requires a foundation of trust and respect. My Romeo must be patient for my love to rain down upon him.

God save the man who professes his love but forgets to show respect in all matters and at all times. There must be a lot of men like that, because there are many words to describe them: Player. Don Juan. Casanova. Lady-killer. Lothario. Seducer. Philanderer. Skirt-chaser. Wolf.

In contrast, there is only one word for a woman with the shoddy morals of these men: the “s” word. A vamp doesn’t get taken in and seduced by a man, no matter how charming a Romeo he may be.

A vamp, unlike a slut, seduces men and may even exploit them, but she plays by her rules, not his. Rules that she sets, that she lives by and that guide her in the game of love and lust.

So the final answer to your question?

Yes, absolutely, this vamp can fall in love.

But while many men have tickled my fancy, stimulated my mind and satisfied my vampiness, very few men have ever gained the key to my precious purple heart.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Musicians Make the Best Lovers (Here’s Why)


(Note from Vita: Listen to "All the Lovers by Kylie when you read this blog.)

As a classically trained musician, I’ve always been attracted to musicians. 

My lovers have included a violinist, a tympanist (those huge kettle drums), one who played Renaissance wind instruments (recorders and crumhorns), and a session guitarist who literally rocked my world. 


Lenny Kravitz. There's one HOT guitar player. 
Musicians are a whole different animal altogether. They are typically obsessed with making music. 

The expression, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” was made for musicians. You will never take first place in their world unless you can join them.

Despite the huge difference in the types of music they played, I was able to join in the musical world of every one of these talented musicians.

I accompanied the violinist on piano, ushered at the orchestra concerts where the tympanist performed, and played the alto recorder in costume at the Renaissance Festival. I co-wrote songs, sang harmony and produced concerts with the rock guitarist.

While their musical styles were all over the map, one thing they all had in common was the ability to play me.

At first, it was a flirtatious dance, similar to the dance that most men and women do, except it’s all done with music playing an essential role in our romance.

Tympani players can make your kettle drums vibrate.
Men often turn to music as a way to express their deepest emotions. For some, music may be the only way they can really express themselves. 

Men also turn to music as a way to attract female attention; think of all the teenage boys who learn guitar with the hopes that it’ll help them land a cute girl.

The first and most important step is to acknowledge the man’s musical prowess. You’re genuine when you tell him that you find his music incredibly intoxicating. 

You tell him something unique and special that you noticed about his playing, and you relate your favorite songs. You tell him you want to hear more. And more.

You tell him you could listen to him all night long.

Now it’s his turn, and he wants to know how you know so much about music and whether you also play. The dance continues both verbally as well as in the way you both move and sway in rhythm to the music playing softly in the background.

You find yourself getting drawn in closer so that you’re touching each other occasionally, and every time you touch, you feel this incredibly super-charged, kinetic energy. Your skin tingles with the excitement of what’s to come.

Later, when you’re home and you’re talking and kissing on the couch, there’s no music playing. It would be too much, too distracting. 

Sweet violinists. Is there anything more romantic?
The two of you are literally making music together. You can almost hear it in the background; you both move in perfect rhythm to the music in your heads. There’s no awkwardness as your bodies naturally flow together.

He strums you like a fine instrument, making your body sing a song like no other. 

And every time you make love, it’s to a different song; it may be a soft, gentle ballad, a raunchy rock song, or a slow bluesy number. The song is in your heads and it reflects all the feelings that are going on between the two of you at that particular stage in your relationship.

You never know what the lovemaking will be like, because musicians feel more deeply and more profoundly than most men. They’re hyper sensitive. They’re true artists.

And that’s what makes them the best lovers of them all.